My firstborn is made of strong bones, she is solid, sure-footed, brave and wise beyond her years. She was probably raised a little different than my two younger children. For the first 13 years of her life, it was just the two of us. Because I had her when I was 20 years old, I was always on a mission to prove to my loved ones that I could raise a smart well mannered, responsible citizen on my home. I worked very hard to make that happen much like any other single mother, I worked hard to pay for childcare so that I could work and held great jobs, I was able to pay for extracurricular activities like dance and acrobats, swim lessons, trips. I wanted to do more than just give her shelter, clothes and a roof, I wanted her to remember experiences. Not all of our experiences were good. There were more than a few bumps and expected twists and turns along the way.
My sweet child just hung in there with me as I learned how to parent. I was big on teaching through experience. One of my most prized talks that we had was about respecting her mind body and soul. She was a treasure to protect and make ready for storms that would surely arise in life.
I explained how important her credit score would be and to save her earnings as well as live a life. She is26 years old now and I don’t think that she has cashed in a CD that she got when she was 18 years old. While she was enlisted in the military, she and her husband bought a home. My child was a young homeowner and experiencing life differently then I experienced at her age.
She grew into a young woman who was not afraid to feel however she feels and articulate her thoughts. It took me years to unreservedly be okay in my skin. She uses her voice to move you, make you contemplate things differently. I may be louder than my baby but it took me a decade to use my voice. In many ways, she is much braver than I ever was at her age. She trusts her god human compass, shoot, I trust her good human compass. She says things reject bad behavior even when the behavior is coming from a loved one. I may be strong and wise, but even I walk on eggshells with certain people to preserve their feeling and to the detriment of my own. (one person, in particular, I am ashamed to say).
She is as stubborn and strong-willed like me and although I may offer her all the help I can she is so much like me and wants to prove to the world and herself that she is capable of getting things done on her own. I live and appreciate her tenacity, however there will always be a piece of me that wants to protect her when someone has wronged her and risk jail time for worse. I love her with all of my heart. I know that she’s “got it”. But I will never lose the instinct to intervene or attempt to sway her to my state. The truth is though, I’ve done the same.
I am so proud of the woman that she has become and proud of her strength and wisdom. My forever first baby love has become a woman that the world should be proud to have
Take care of your strong bones my loves,